Too much Pain

I haven't spoken much here about my fibromyalgia and the pain that goes with it - not where/how I want to spend my time & energy. But a constant Fact Of Life nonetheless, and I do belong to a Yahoo group for fiber artists with fibro, called, logically enough, Fibro Fiberartists. Here's the link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fibro_fiberartists/.

I was thinking about what I wanted from this group today, and here's what I posted to the forum:

"As others have said, while I really appreciate a community of
fellow "fibro-fiber artists", I personally don't really want to focus
so much on the pain & disability here either...There are other forums for that, and I have chosen to stay away from them most of the time, because too many people there seem only focused on their pain & disabilities. I refuse to define myself by my pain!

I do believe that in order to move ahead it is necessary to acknowledge the pain, the anger, & all that "stuff" that goes along with having fibro, and to mourn what we have lost, and I think that this is a legitimate place to share whatever comes out in our art
from that process, if that is of value to you. It isn't gonna all be pretty, that's for sure!

If there's anybody here who's familiar with
the SoulCollage process (http://www.soulcollage.com/), I made this card for Pain.

One of the gifts fibro has given me, in a roundabout sort of way, is the gift of time. Because it forced me to just plain STOP everything else for a while. Because it has taken me right off the formerly all- consuming treadmill of working-doing-going-being-it-all and plopped me right smack into my SELF. Because the pain and stress has led me into techniques of healing breathing, meditation, ways to calm myself inside so I can see what's really there. Because it has changed so many of the things about me that used to be so central in my life, so that what is truly the ME inside me can actually shine more clearly for me.

So those are some of the things I like to focus on, and my creative work seems to be all coming from that place of illumination. I might not have found or really appreciated some of these inner places if it hadn't been for this fibro."

So I'll ask anybody who is interested: what are some
of the better things that have come to you as a result of having
fibro? Be honest and tell the truth!

In the Land of the Lotus Eaters

In the Land of the Lotus Eaters
Originally uploaded by cathyb53

Not fabric/quilt art - this is a collage I made last winter while we were in the Bahamas, where there's a lot of flopping around mostly naked. Something about the indolent heat of August here in upstate New York brings it to mind.

SoulCollage Cards

Yo! I did it again! Now I've got the Flickr.com thing down, and the scanning/uploading thing, AND the posting pictures to my so-called blog thing.

Now all I need is something to say - here's where I freeze up. Ever known me to be short of words before? Don't worry, it won't last long.

I remember now - I started this whole Blog thing so that I could share my SoulCollage (c) cards without hogging up space on the group website. Maybe the main purpose of this blog will be to share my work & processes with my fellow-minded artsy friends. I want to ask for genuine feedback, but I'm very new at this, and very tender about the whole business of "putting myself out there", as they say. I fear looking like a fool. Saying "Here - look at what I made" seems very arrogant somehow, or - even worse - as if it might appear arrogant. Like I'm all "here, look how cool I am, now you have to tell me I'm very clever or artsy or 'creative' or whatever" - when my real intention is just to share my work with others who are into the same kind of thing.

That's not what I'm here for. Nor do I have the currently-popular "low self esteem" issue; it's not that I think what I do sucks, it's just that showing others (family! friends! strangers!) what I do, in a field outside of my comfort zone (quilts, anything fiber-related - I'll show that stuff to anybody, anytime!), is new and nerve-wracking to me. So OK, I know what to do: I'll post another thing right up here & shut the hell up already!

OK. This is another Soul Collage card, called "Above and Below". I think I need to figure out how to put captions under the pics - probably there's a way to do that, right?